Santa Banta jokes
Santa : Yaar Main Jis Ladki Ko Chahta tha,Usne shaadi kar li hai.
banta: Tumne Usko Bataya Ki tumhara Chacha Karorepati Hai.
santa: Bataya Tha,tabhi to usne mere chacha se shadi kar li hai
Santa :- ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyaan thi. Log use radhe shyam kahte the. Batao kyon? Banta:-kyon?
Santa:-uska naam radhe shyam tha.
Santa:-mere padosi ka bachcha gum gaya.
Banta :- achcha to tumne kya kiya?
Santa:-maine unse kaha ki google per search kar lo.
Ek bar santa ko paper mein es ko english mein translate karna tha..
Ki "Mein ek aam admi hooon"
Aus ne likha "I am a mango man......."
Santa ek dukaan wale se sheesha khareedne gaya,"is sheeshe ki majbooti ki kya guarantee hai?"
Dukaan wala:-ye sheesha yadi aap 100th manzil se fekenge, to ye 99 manzil tak bhi nahin tutega.
Ek bar santa ko paper mein es ko english mein translate karna tha..
Ki "Mein ek aam admi hooon"
Aus ne likha "I am a mango man......."Chiti- hathi tum itne bade kyu ho ?
Hathi- I am a complan boy!!!!!!
hathi- chiti tum itni choti kyu ho ?
chiti- ole total effect badti umar mano tham si jaye !!!!!!!!!!!!!chor:jaldi batao sona kaha he nahi to jan se mar dalunga...
banta:are yar etni sari jagah he jaha sona ho so jao....Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Mera ladla, mera pyara, mera chhona, mera gugla. Muj se shadi karoge? Bolo baby, bolo na !
Funny Boyfriend: Tum mujhe propose kar rahi ho ya adopt ?Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: off ho Tu Gangubai aur kaunSanta: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey...
Santa ki patni Santa se boli aap hazaro me ek hai. Santa ne ek thappad mara aur bola baki 999
koun hai?Santa: Yaar Ye Autometacily Kya Hota Hai
Banta: Simple Yaar, Jab Koi Ganji Aurat Auto Me Baith K Jaye to Use bolte hai "Auto-Me-Takli"Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.
Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyosanta in exam hall: oye aaj taan koi que nhi aaunda,
sare ques de thale kuch line la dinda hai,
\\\\\\\\\\\\
te thale Likh dinda H
Scratch Kr K sariya de jawab Padh Lo.Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai
Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya…
Santa: ye 3 mahine me bachha kaise hogaya?
Biwi: Aapki shaadi ko kitna time hua?
Santa: 3 mahine
Biwi: aur meri shaadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahina.
Biwi: aur bachha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: ohh terii!vakai 9 mahine ho gaye, time ka pata hi nahi laga
technology joke
Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health.
Santa: Sir i play football, cricket, tennis daily.
Doctor: how long do you play?
Santa: until d battery in my mobile goes down!!
Waiter: Ur Bill Sir.
Santa: Take My Card.
Waiter: But Sir, This Is Ration Card.
Santa: To Phir Bahar Kya Majaak Me Likha hai..
All Cards are Accepted.Santa:
Miss kya Aap mujhey raat ko call.. kar rahi thi
Miss: No
Santa: Kamaal Hai
Subha Jub main utha tou merey mobile pr likha tha
Miss call
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan haita ho gaya…
Santa: ye 3 mahine me bachha kaise hogaya?
Biwi: Aapki shaadi ko kitna time hua?
Santa: 3 mahine
Biwi: aur meri shaadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahina.
Biwi: aur bachha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: ohh terii!vakai 9 mahine ho gaye, time ka pata hi nahi laga
Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health.
Santa: Sir i play football, cricket, tennis daily.
Doctor: how long do you play?
Santa: until d battery in my mobile goes down!!
Santa: Take My Card.
Waiter: But Sir, This Is Ration Card.
Santa: To Phir Bahar Kya Majaak Me Likha hai..
All Cards are Accepted.ey raat ko call.. kar rahi thi
Miss: No
Santa: Kamaal Hai
Subha Jub main utha tou merey mobile pr likha tha
Miss callls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister.Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
banta: Tumne Usko Bataya Ki tumhara Chacha Karorepati Hai.
santa: Bataya Tha,tabhi to usne mere chacha se shadi kar li hai
Santa :- ek aadmi ki 6 ungliyaan thi. Log use radhe shyam kahte the. Batao kyon? Banta:-kyon?
Santa:-uska naam radhe shyam tha.
Santa:-mere padosi ka bachcha gum gaya.
Banta :- achcha to tumne kya kiya?
Santa:-maine unse kaha ki google per search kar lo.
Ek bar santa ko paper mein es ko english mein translate karna tha..
Ki "Mein ek aam admi hooon"
Aus ne likha "I am a mango man......."
Santa ek dukaan wale se sheesha khareedne gaya,"is sheeshe ki majbooti ki kya guarantee hai?"
Dukaan wala:-ye sheesha yadi aap 100th manzil se fekenge, to ye 99 manzil tak bhi nahin tutega.
Ek bar santa ko paper mein es ko english mein translate karna tha..
Ki "Mein ek aam admi hooon"
Aus ne likha "I am a mango man......."Chiti- hathi tum itne bade kyu ho ?
Hathi- I am a complan boy!!!!!!
hathi- chiti tum itni choti kyu ho ?
chiti- ole total effect badti umar mano tham si jaye !!!!!!!!!!!!!chor:jaldi batao sona kaha he nahi to jan se mar dalunga...
banta:are yar etni sari jagah he jaha sona ho so jao....Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?
Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.Girlfriend to Boyfriend: Mera ladla, mera pyara, mera chhona, mera gugla. Muj se shadi karoge? Bolo baby, bolo na !
Funny Boyfriend: Tum mujhe propose kar rahi ho ya adopt ?Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: off ho Tu Gangubai aur kaunSanta: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey...
Santa ki patni Santa se boli aap hazaro me ek hai. Santa ne ek thappad mara aur bola baki 999
koun hai?Santa: Yaar Ye Autometacily Kya Hota Hai
Banta: Simple Yaar, Jab Koi Ganji Aurat Auto Me Baith K Jaye to Use bolte hai "Auto-Me-Takli"Santa : pehle me apni biwi ko BA karwaunga fir MA fir Phd karwaunga fir badiya si naukri dilwaunga.
Banta : fir acha sa rishta dekh k uski shaadi bhi krwa diyosanta in exam hall: oye aaj taan koi que nhi aaunda,
sare ques de thale kuch line la dinda hai,
\\\\\\\\\\\\
te thale Likh dinda H
Scratch Kr K sariya de jawab Padh Lo.Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai
Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya…
Santa: ye 3 mahine me bachha kaise hogaya?
Biwi: Aapki shaadi ko kitna time hua?
Santa: 3 mahine
Biwi: aur meri shaadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahina.
Biwi: aur bachha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: ohh terii!vakai 9 mahine ho gaye, time ka pata hi nahi laga
technology joke
Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health.
Santa: Sir i play football, cricket, tennis daily.
Doctor: how long do you play?
Santa: until d battery in my mobile goes down!!
Waiter: Ur Bill Sir.
Santa: Take My Card.
Waiter: But Sir, This Is Ration Card.
Santa: To Phir Bahar Kya Majaak Me Likha hai..
All Cards are Accepted.Santa:
Miss kya Aap mujhey raat ko call.. kar rahi thi
Miss: No
Santa: Kamaal Hai
Subha Jub main utha tou merey mobile pr likha tha
Miss call
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan haita ho gaya…
Santa: ye 3 mahine me bachha kaise hogaya?
Biwi: Aapki shaadi ko kitna time hua?
Santa: 3 mahine
Biwi: aur meri shaadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahina.
Biwi: aur bachha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: ohh terii!vakai 9 mahine ho gaye, time ka pata hi nahi laga
Doctor: Do exercise daily for good health.
Santa: Sir i play football, cricket, tennis daily.
Doctor: how long do you play?
Santa: until d battery in my mobile goes down!!
Santa: Take My Card.
Waiter: But Sir, This Is Ration Card.
Santa: To Phir Bahar Kya Majaak Me Likha hai..
All Cards are Accepted.ey raat ko call.. kar rahi thi
Miss: No
Santa: Kamaal Hai
Subha Jub main utha tou merey mobile pr likha tha
Miss callls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.Santa falls in love with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister.Titanic was sinking. An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!